


Rose Demure

by silversilky



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Character Study, F/F, Future Fic, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversilky/pseuds/silversilky
Summary: Just as always Aya isn't subtle, just as always it hurts. And when Chisato is hurt the only thing she knows how to do is grow colder.
Relationships: Maruyama Aya/Shirasagi Chisato
Comments: 15
Kudos: 41





	Rose Demure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [demonladys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonladys/gifts).



The office door swings open with all the subtlety of a three-lane car crash and Chisato Shirasagi crosses the threshold into the hallway, turning on her heel and striding towards the front of the building where she knows the exit is. She adjusts her bag firmly and wipes her cheek. When she pulls her hand away, there's a streak of bright pink across her palm. _Rose Demure._

She closes her hand into a tight fist. What a farce. Really, why did she even bother showing up at the agency after hours? There's no excuse for it. She only came because that damn girl called and the surety of it makes her stomach turn.

"Chisato-chan!"

Aya's pursuit shouldn't come as a surprise but hearing her name shouted so desperately still sends a needle of regret through Chisato's heart. She walks a little faster. Her heels click on the linoleum with every hastened step, and the distinct sound of tennis shoes scuffling against the floor echoes down the hall as the other woman tries to keep up.

"Chisato-chan, please slow down! We need to--I need to talk to you! Um, I'm sorry about what I did, I didn't mean to--"

"I do not expect nor do I want an apology, Aya-chan. I also do not care what you meant to do. Clear your conscience if you must and let me go. We'll both forget this little mistake ever happened."

"But I don't want to forget about it!"

Chisato bites down hard on the inside of her cheek and the taste of metal mixes with the growing bile in the back of her throat. "Do you regret it or not? Make up your mind."

"I--" Aya cuts off with a whimper. "I don't want to..."

"Then I will decide for us both." Putting her head down and controlling her breathing, Chisato turns a corner and Aya scrambles to follow her. They're in the main lobby now. It's late enough that even the receptionist has gone home and most of the lights are off, but there's a large aquarium full of tropical fish to their left that's still lit up brightly. It's distracting. She's never liked it very much.

"Chisato-chan!"

She doesn't reply.

"Chisato-chan, please! Why did you say that when I k--"

The click of her heels stops.

"I didn't say anything, Aya-chan. You must have been confused."

"No, that's bullshit!"

It's the first time she's ever heard Aya curse. Usually even when frustrated beyond reason she would catch herself and turn it into something G-rated just in case the cameras were on, even as less and less cameras seemed to want to focus on Pastel Palettes over the years. It's a little unnerving how easily the vulgar syllables flow in that sweet girlish voice. The one Chisato used to hear over the speakers on the train some mornings. What would her fans think if they heard her now?

And what would the fans think if they saw what the two of them were about to do? Well, maybe some of them would like it, Chisato thinks as she narrows her eyes and takes in a shuddering breath.

"You shouldn't use such language."

"Neither should you!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Chisato takes one more step towards the exit. It's just past the fish tank, she can see the blinking fluorescent EXIT sign over the door from here. "Goodbye, Aya-chan. I'll call you a cab, so don't worry about taking the train."

The floor squeaks as Aya plants herself firm and shouts at the top of her lungs, "I won't let you run away from me just because you hate yourself!"

Again, Chisato stops. She hates herself a little more for it.

"Chisato Shirasagi is a good person! She's nice and kind and she's always looked after me, even when she's a little cold she usually has a good reason." Aya gulps audibly and Chisato knows right down in her bones what's coming next. "And I lo--"

"Yes, Chisato Shirasagi is a good person," Chisato says, the words dripping off her tongue and burning like acid. She finally turns around to face the other woman properly. Her chest feels so tight that her heart may as well have stopped beating. "Chisato Shirasagi is a beautiful fish in a small bowl. A kind, competent woman who will continue her career until her eventual retirement, always refusing to take a husband simply because the right man will never come along. She will die of old age or disease and all the headlines will say that Chisato Shirasagi was always such a wonderful person. Everyone will feel so awful for just a few moments."

Chisato takes two more steps forward and leans close enough to speak her final words into Aya's ear. "Aya-chan. I am not Chisato Shirasagi. I am the thing that lives inside of her and pulls her strings. _An actress._ And a good enough one to fool you, I suppose. Get that into your head and let me go."

She pulls away to leave--

But there's a hand clutching onto her sleeve. Aya holds firm and meets her gaze with an anger Chisato didn't think she was capable of in the back of her eyes. "Bullshit!" Aya says again, and this time the edge in her voice is even more jarring than the word itself.

"Aya-chan...?"

"I said that's b--" This time Aya seems to have more trouble saying it. She's failing. Ah, that's the Aya she knows, Chisato thinks as her heart sinks. "B-Baloney! I... Chisato-chan, you're you! I know you! And I don't care about the Chisato they think they know. I'm saying you, the real you, is a good person and you can't ever make me think otherwise!"

Chisato's hand darts out despite herself to grab hold of Aya's collar in a tight grasp, yanking her close, far too close, but she can't hear the voice in the back of her head telling her to stop anymore, and...

And then for exactly nine seconds her world is _Rose Demure._

When she finally pulls away, too fast for comfort and too slow to excuse the whole thing as a mistake, Aya blinks back at her. Her entire face is flushed deep pink now to match her lipstick. "Chisato-chan..."

"Do you believe me now?" Chisato spits out even as her fuse burns itself out and flickers away. "I'm terrible. Even when rejecting you I just can't help myself."

Aya lets out a long breath and leans close. Chisato doesn't push her away. "Chisato-chan, come away with me. We can quit our contracts and escape together if you want. Anywhere. I know the band isn't going to--" Her shoulders droop. "Isn't going to last much longer. I can hear what they're saying through the walls sometimes, we're just too old now. They're going to split us up. But we can go away."

"Go away? Are you a child?"

A tired laugh is Aya's response. She must have known even as she said it that the idea was ridiculous. "I guess so..."

Chisato can't stand to watch as the longing on Aya's face grows more pronounced. She turns her head and stares into the bright light of the aquarium instead. "I can't escape this life any more than one of those fish can decide to breathe air and take to the skies. And I'm not kind enough to indulge in your fantasies, Aya-chan. You need to accept that."

"But that's exactly what makes you kind."

It's the insistent hope in Aya's voice that breaks Chisato for the last time. She turns her gaze back to the dim light of the EXIT sign and walks towards it, one foot in front of the other, on autopilot now. It's time to go.

"Chisato-chan!"

She doesn't reply.

"Sometimes they can, though! Fish can fly!"

The click of her heels stops. But Chisato refuses to turn around. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"They're real, right? Flying fish," Aya insists with a shaky voice as if the words mean anything at all, "I've heard of them before. Hina-chan showed me a video of them one time and everything. It's not impossible."

Just as always Aya isn't subtle, just as always it hurts. And when Chisato is hurt the only thing she knows how to do is grow colder. "They don't really fly, Aya-chan. They only glide. It just looks like flight to fools who don't know the trick."

Chisato reaches out to wrap her hand around the metal handle of the door. It's cold. The chill of it bites into her tender palm and stings but despite it she doesn't move an inch. She won't open the door until she hears Aya's last reply, Chisato owes her that much at least after everything she's put her through. She won't even breathe.

"...Does it really matter if it's real or not?"

"Of course it matters," Chisato says as her heart twists. "Goodbye, Aya-chan."

The door swings shut behind her as she goes. There's a faint pink stain left behind on the handle where she touched it, but it won't take long to fade away.

**Author's Note:**

> this was going to have an ambiguous ending but chisato said "no <3." happy belated birthday mari~ love you lots
> 
> huge thanks to [shiny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShinySword) for giving this a beta read! make sure to check out his work, it's all fantastic.


End file.
